Six months from today,

I will be thirty years old.

And I am so excited, I can't stand it.

I was scared to turn 20, even my golden age of 27 was nerve racking but this was all since I was uncertain as to who I am. Don't get me wrong. I'm still learning. I'll continue to grow, make mistakes, change,etc. But as I woke up this morning, looked at my alarm clock that has the date as well, I felt tremendous peace. Yes, I'm living with my parents, I have no full time secure job, I have barely any money saved, I'm single, all that other stuff that is considered "successful" or "what you should have/be doing." However, I don't care! Not one bit! I'm happy with who I am, made peace with my past, love my life and am living in the present. I have a creative, purposeful important career, a passion for art, amazing family and friends, a caring heart, and a delightful laugh. These are what matter to me. And I see the next 30 years continuing in this fashion. I'm glad to reach this monumental age.

I must say I also feel the next six months need some sort of project. As like a count down. I know that Polaroid film is on the way out so maybe I could utilize its finality with the finality of my twenties...Hmm...

Near death experiences, awakenings, and Flight of the Conchords.

This weekend I got away. A dear, best friend and I drove out towards Packwood, WA and stayed in a cabin for two nights. It snowed the first night. We ate great food, watched the Darjeeling Limited (awesome! Make an agreement to watch it!) and then nearly died.

Well, maybe it is more like we nearly got into a bad car accident.

Besides my retreat this weekend, I also had a screening interview with a school district that I am very interested in on Saturday afternoon. So O and I drove the hour and half to have my fifteen minute interview. On the way, through Morton, the snow was treacherous. I lost control of the car and we started sliding towards an RV, I couldn't move the car away but luckily we slid back towards the side of the road and didn't hit anything nor got stuck in the snow. O remembers that I was very calm and brave and said something like "It's not working." I was thinking that I can't get her killed and I can't miss the interview and all the books I've been reading say things like "Relax, breathe, and be in the moment." And in that moment, I was my true self: brave, strong and calm. We recovered control and went along our way. And I learned that not only is my true self the words above but that I don't need to always try to control everything. I can trust myself and the process and know that it will turn out okay. This may be reading a lot into the near accident but something clicked with me and I was very much awake. I've been working on being present ever since.

On a lighter less spiritual tranformationy note, I love the Flight of the Conchords. They are this amazing New Zealand duo who have a hilarious tv show and awesome music. I checked out the first season from the library, watched it all, made O watch some episodes, and now finally have ordered it online. The second season apparently comes out sometime soon but I'm also getting their album, out tomorrow. Watch the "Bowie" episode for obvious reasons but other great ones are "New Fans" or "Bret Gives Up the Dream."

Some links:

http://www.hbo.com/conchords/

http://www.conchords.co.nz/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4zV4pJ8MwM (Bowie's in Space video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxtbJf5E9i4&feature=related (1st Bowie)

And finally as someone living at home right now, I love this one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5SI0BByyFE&feature=related

Loving and Hating

HATING:

being sick with some sort of stomach/sinus deadly combo

the anxiety that accompanies getting ill

the depression that accompanies getting ill

not sleeping well


LOVING:

seeing friends recently (H and S, plus C who I see all the time)

The Flight of the Conchords--brilliant! I haven't gotten to the "Bowie" episode yet but maybe today

tuna fish and crackers

the new Mariah Carey album---good stuff, a lot of songs are going to make their way into my "Workout mix"

Looking forward to wellness and the weekend...

Unplug.

I have much to write about:
career fairs,
screening interviews,
jobs,
the future,
car cleaning,
shoulder hurting,
bridesmaid dress ordering,
Jill Scott's first album (and 2nd and 3rd),
having to drive soon down from my vacation cabin (in a few weekends with a friend) to be interviewed for 15 minutes,
eye twitching,
bonus stipends,
artistic ideas,
and movies.
But I am very tired tonight and need to unwind, unplug, and recharge. After some good brew and good bathing, plus Law and Order: CI watching, I'll be new again.
Don't forget to rest and do some self-care yourself, Reader!

JAY-Z AND BEYONCE!!!

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=307776&GT1=BUZZ1

(yes, this is rather cheesy but these are two of my favorite entertainers so i feel i should share the news with everyone. although, now i have to fight iman and beyonce for my boys?!?)

Some things are blooming here...

A little list pushes itself up like irises. "Everyday is a chance to start again..."

1. grabbed the latest issue of "Artful Blogging" and am getting inspired.

Some of my favorite blogs were featured, including hula seventy. People are so creative. I love it!

2. enjoying a quiet spring break, seeing old friends, and relaxing.

I have 8 boxes of calming tea of some sort..."Bedtime" "Sleepy time" "Quiet Evening" "Tension Tamer" with a dragon on the cover...

3. finding out that I'm too old to still have certain issues/behaviors.

Indulgences, old bad habits, I'm almost 30. Some of this stuff has to go. Plus, my anxiety creeps up full force when I'm not taking good care of myself...exercise, sleep, water, healthy food.

4. going to an Educators career fair to see if I can get a job.

Who knows? Maybe out of state? Maybe here? Maybe in a box with a fox?

5. saw an excellent exhibit/permanent collection of art at the Seattle Art Museum.
They have 4 Joseph Cornell boxes, lots of Mark Tobey, this lunar type thing by Lenora Carrington. Oh, C and I were in Modern Art Heaven. We did peruse the Roman Art on loan. But I was much more fascinated by the naughty children in line, who tried to mess with the ropes or get in without admission!

6. working out at least 4-5 times a week.

I ride the bike for like 40 minutes and listen to my pop/hip-hop/r and b stuff. I pretend that I'm biking with Madonna or Gwen Stefani. Sometimes, I'm racing Lance Armstrong.

7. feeling restless, like I need an art project or something.

8.becoming okay with me, the real me...all the highs and lows. it is what it is.