Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Trying to stay above water.

Well, things are tough.

Yea, I know I'm not the only one thinking that or feeling that right now. I've been looking for a full time teaching job and although there have been a few interviews, the prospects are not good. I was frustrated the other night, couldn't sleep, and kept thinking about not having a "REAL" job and such when Tyler Durden from "Fight Club" came into my mind saying "You are not your job, you are not your f-ing khakis." And I thought, "So what am I?"

I seem to be struggling with knowing how to move forward, wondering what the next step is or what the right thoughts are. I think I'll back to school but I don't know what I want. Because what I want, I don't seem to get right now, no matter how hard I try. So am I wanting the wrong things?

I also need to be using my creativity more. Doing art, taking art classes, just sitting on the floor making stuff. But there always seems to be an application to fill in or some copy of something to make or online junk to do (which I really hate).

I realize this isn't a very positive or completely interesting post but these things run through my mind the last couple of days. October,while beautiful and spectacular, is also a rather reflective time for me.

What are you thinking about?


Kale Iverson said...

i'm thinking, why is it so hard for such bad asses like us to get teaching jobs?

also, is it just as hard for you to land sub gigs?

art is a solace for me too.

keep truckin, giving up isn't an option!

Chrissy said...

I know this is a very old post - but I have to say that I have always loved that Fight Club quote. I have always ALWAYS felt that a job is a job - not a definition of me. I've also always felt that if I start to feel like I am my fucking job - then it's time to evaluate my life - and perhaps go and get a life.

I can tell you in a heartbeat what I am, and "teacher" wouldn't the first thing that comes to mind for me. Artist would. and it's not the way I make (or want to make) my living.

I'd be interested to hear if you've done any further thinking on this topic :)