Friday, September 28, 2007

Creepy or flattering?

When I get bored sometimes I look up weird stuff on the Internet. Like robots or other various obsessions I have. And then when I get down, I try to look up myself. I know everyone does this occasionally so I don't feel like a complete self-indulgent hack. Today I was looking up magpies and the number 27 and this, my blog, came up first. I don't know if I should feel flattered or a little disturbed. I guess I was dumb to think that anything on the web could be slightly hidden. Oh well, I'll learn to live with this sort of fame (ha!), my girl Angie does it all the time.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I'm a work in progress.

I still make mistakes, I'm still learning. But what I do know is that I can change my life. I'm very lucky I have amazing friends and family and a beautiful heart. I need to be patient with myself, pick myself up when I fall and allow for mistakes. But I more importantly need to never give up hope and give into those things that pull me down into the mire. I have to believe in myself.

More art therapy

My art therapy

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

My great depression.

I have struggled with depression nearly all my life. And recently it has tried to creep its way back into my life. It starts off small like trouble sleeping, frustration at things beyond my control and just the desire to lie in bed watching foreign films all day. Usually when my life is transitioning this strange beastie appears. I'm working hard to counter its effects like with writing, my various art projects, visiting friends, and general self-care. I am however fascinated by how this thing is always out of reach, like something in the corner of my eye that when I turn my head to face it, it has disappeared. Who knows. These are the thoughts in my head this morning as I sip coffee, watch the rain drizzle and figure out what I'm doing today since I didn't get a call for a sub job.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Miss Nelson or Miss Swamp?

TEACHING!!! This is of course after one day but still I think that is a pretty good attitude to have. The class wasn't perfect but they weren't the monsters I had imagined at two in the morning when I couldn't sleep. One student asked me if I had always taught this grade level and another said he hoped I would be there tomorrow! It's funny since I tried to model myself after Viola Swamp from the "Miss Nelson" books. (Totally worth checking out whether you are a teacher or not). Viola is like a witch lady substitute teacher and not to be messed with. I'm sure I appear more Miss Nelson-esque to the outside world but don' let this face fool you!

My brother's eyes

My brother has the most brilliant, beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. He of course thinks I'm nuts for thinking this and getting him to take this picture was an ordeal. They are a dark blue with a ring of orange, reddish yellow around the iris. Sort of a solar eclipse in his eye. I just think they're neat.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

First day and synchronicity

Tomorrow is the first day I substitute teach. I don't know if I'm nervous or what but I find that there are certain coincidences that crop up. Jung's theory of sychronicity, which I am trying to better understand, speaks of events occurring at the same time, relationships between these events, etc. I'm still not entirely certain about how it works. But, such things have recently happened in my life. I'm hoping that tomorrow is a good day. I'm viewing it like travelling. I get to visit lots of different countries, the classrooms, and learn something about others and myself. Atleast that is what I'm trying to focus on. Be brave.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I like to make things with my hands.

So, since I haven't worked yet and the money is slowly disappearing, I have given myself a new project as well as some new obsessions. First, the Beatles. I know, I know that isn't really new but I've always loved them and now the interest has be re-ignited due to seeing the movie "I AM SAM" today. Sean Penn's character seems to be obsessed with the Beatles and this also is the movie where all these musicians got together and did covers of Beatles' songs like Pearl Jam and "You've got to hide your love away." I also got a new sketchbook and have decided to make little postcard sized collages/drawings/etc. I am very excited. Of course now that I've decided on these little projects, I probably will get work. However, I am confident that I will remain an unemployed artist for atleast two more days!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

The tide of change approaches.

This was what my fortune said when I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday the other night. And since then changes have started coming. I will be entering the jungle world of substitute teaching in three different districts. While I am excited to be teaching in some form and for the increase in my income, I must admit I have my hesitations. Students can be quite evil at times and although I've built my armour up over the last year, I'm sure that holes could be found. We'll see what happens...

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Some beautiful images of Tacoma

This is why I love Tacoma. You can find beauty, art, nature and just plain uniqueness anywhere. I took these pictures with my new digital camera outside my friend Emily's apartment building. There is a busy street right in front of it that I drive down all the time and I have never noticed these things before. I find myself looking at the world very differently now that my camera has become my third hand. I know it sounds cliche but when you stop for a second and look around, you see amazing things. I have flown down that road (well okay, five over the speed limit but who's counting?) and now I hope that I don't get into an accident by moving my head around to find curious things on this street. I'm going to continue looking and maybe even move my blog more in that direction. Finding strange things and photographing it and posting it. Who knows...