I'm tired, getting sick and depressed.

Okay, I want to know why just as soon as I feel like I'm getting my life together, I either get sick or start to doubt myself again. I did see an old dear friend today and am going to a wedding planning party in a little while. But I can feel the old nagging inner critics starting to rev their engines. Why is it so hard to give yourself the love or forgiveness you give to others? Why can stupid meaningless things or even individuals knock us on our backs just as we finally master walking in heels? Why? Perhaps these are questions I have to work through as Rilke mentions in one of my favorite books. But I have a feeling Rilke never was a twenty-something girl with emotional baggage and a tendency to over-analyze.